Archive for the ‘Life 超然物外’ Category

Random Thoughts - by Yiyan

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

I had lunch at a local Thai place today. I like this place because it usually gives me a sense of authenticity. I like the fact that they place a fork and a spoon on the table instead of the knife. It gives me a little reference point of the days I spent in Thailand.

I frequently order vegetarian dishes there due to their excellent skills. So much so that a few times, I was mistaken as a vegetarian. Today, while I was eating my vegetable rice alone, my mind went in the direction of vegetarians.

Just from my own limited experience, the days I’ve spent eating vegetables only, are the days when i am more calm compare to the other days. If this only occurred once or twice, I’d probably not take notice. I started noticing this after a period of half a year.

Today, in my mind, as an extension to this thought, I wonder if we have encountered any aggressive vegetarians… Do we have examples of that?

反省人生–之二

Wednesday, March 14th, 2007

一篇其實並不打算登出來。只是已經寫了﹐而是作為私人的感想把它存留。因為 HH 看後就說登出來會令人笑掉大牙 - 我太不懂人生了﹗三十幾歲還會發表這種小兒科的論點﹐好像是在象牙塔內成長的人。也以此可以推出我以前的人生也太順了一點﹐受到的保護也太多了一點。

上星期與三年不見的印度好朋友Sa一起吃飯。聽她訴訟公婆對她的無理要求與態度。再了解到她先生的轉變。當然就給了她一些勸告。令我自己驚訝的是﹐我的觀念已經變了。

也許我是更識時務了﹐但是其實心裡也在暗暗地可惜。好像覺得應該像小孩子似的天真會更好。

以前我會覺得世事應公平。我這樣對待別人﹐希望別人也以同等的方式反饋。上一篇中的失望在一定程度上也是由于這個原因才產生的。但是我的信念其實已經在蛻變了。我對Sa 勸說在生活中是不可能公平的﹐而選先生就像是買盆菜一樣﹐有好吃的部份﹐也有不好吃的。要麼全盤接受﹐否則就不要。人不可能只選好的要。如果Sa 對她老公還有一些感情﹐那就一定要接受這個事實。

看了好友Min 的回復﹐深受感動。原先的想法有點悲觀﹐但看了回復後感覺就清楚了很多。其實﹐我與Min 不約而同地想到一塊兒去了。在勸Sa 這件事上也有所展現。我的世界觀的看法也許變得不是黑白分明了﹐但是我自己做人﹑待人的原則還是不變。有可能到頭來吃虧多一點的是自己﹐不過一個樂觀的人﹐加上一點點智慧﹐是可以有辦法解決的。

Min ﹐ 謝謝你的指點﹗

反省人生

Sunday, March 4th, 2007

常常在有挫折﹐或者有打擊的情況下才會反省自己的人生。對於我﹐2007年這個開端並不是一個令人振奮的起始。更貼切地來說﹐很多時候我都不盼望第二天的到來。這些煩惱幾乎都是與我的工作有關。繁忙的工作壓力再加上一連串的波折與失敗使我重新考慮我的做人原則。

我生來就是一個比較熱情的人。如果是自己認定的事情﹐一般都會全力投入。加上從小家庭教育的灌輸﹐使我很容易相信對方。在處理房地產買賣時﹐這些做人的基本原則卻使自己一而再地受到傷害。

由于房地產買賣牽涉到人們一生中最大的金錢交易(對大多數人來說)﹐人的本性就赤裸裸地展現在我的眼前。而我很失望地發現﹐在這種情況下﹐大部份的人只顧他們自己的利益。在一番搶奪之後﹐如果協議取消﹐最大的受害者是我。因為﹐買賣雙方的損失僅限於投入的押金而已。我則已付出太多的時間﹐金錢與勞力﹐最後一分錢也沒有。世界上還有什麼工作會事先免費地做好幾個月甚至於一年﹐最後還是不一定有收入﹖﹗

而令我更痛苦地是﹐在我一心一意為客戶服務的同時﹐如果情況一有不利﹐我的客戶立刻會懷疑我的能力與動機。我的另外一個發現就是在這個社會上﹐人與人之間的信任關係是建立在互惠的基礎上。這種互惠關係一有動搖﹐信任也就瓦解了。對一個人的絕對性地信任已經是過時的。

如果我要提高自己接受打擊的能力﹐首先我就必須控制自己不能全面投入我的工作。這樣才能在有危機時及時把自己從中拉出來。第二﹐在認清人與人之間的關係同時﹐採取同樣的方式建立關係。這樣﹐失望才不至於發生。可是﹐這樣的改變非常難﹐並且我並不認同這種人生原則。

這幾個月除了需要在實質工作中處理種種麻煩事﹐更重要的是我在煩惱﹐躊躇-要不要改變自己。

Happy Valentine’s Day - to the unloved

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

V-day is always a celebration of love. The color red, the romantic gifts and dinners are frequently associated with this special day. But I think the world is also full of single people, people who may be suffering from love. To bring some smiles to these people, I found this list of breakup songs. Maybe that will bring some satisfaction to some during this otherwsie “gloomy” day.love

A Selection of Breakup Songs

by

Sad Breakup

Ryan Adams: “When the Stars Go Blue”
The Beatles: “Yesterday,” “For No One”

Beck: “Lost Cause”

James Blunt: “Goodbye My Lover”

Toni Braxton: “Unbreak My Heart”

Jeff Buckley: “Last Goodbye,” “Lover You Should’ve Come Over”

Carpenters: “Goodbye to Love”

Patsy Cline: “Walkin’ After Midnight,” “Sweet Dreams of You,” “Crazy,” “I Fall to Pieces,” “She’s Got You,” “Leavin’ On Your Mind”

Coldplay: “The Scientist”

Elvis Costello: “Almost Blue,” “I Hope You’re Happy Now”

The Cure: “Pictures of You,” “Boys Don’t Cry”

Elvis: “Separate Ways,” “Heartbreak Hotel”

Marvin Gaye: “I Heard It Through the Grapevine”

Go-Betweens: “Part Company”

Lauryn Hill: “Ex-Factor”

George Jones: “He Stopped Loving Her Today”

Carole King: “It’s Too Late”

Gladys Knight and the Pips: “Midnight Train to Georgia”

Brenda Lee: “Break it to Me Gently”

Annie Lennox: “Why?”

The Magnetic Fields: “All My Little Words”

Aimee Mann: “One”

Mental As Anything: “If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?”

Joni Mitchell: “Blue,” “River”

Willie Nelson: “Always on My Mind”

Nilsson: “Without You”

Nine Inch Nails: “Hurt” (also covered by Johnny Cash, above)

Sinead O’Connor: “Nothing Compares to You”

Roy Orbison: “It’s Over,” “Crying”

Pearl Jam: “Black”

Liz Phair: “Divorce Song”

The Police: “Can’t Stand Losing You,” “Bed’s Too Big Without You,” “I’ll be Watching You”

Righteous Brothers: “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”

Kenny Rogers: “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town”

The Smiths: “I Know It’s Over,” “Well I Wonder”

Split Enz: “I Hope Never”

The Streets: “Dry Your Eyes Mate”

Patti Smith: “Pissing in a River”

U2: “One,” “With or Without You”

Usher: “Burn”

Tom Waits: “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis”

Hank Williams: “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”

Bill Withers: “Ain’t No Sunshine”

Tammy Wynette: “D-I-V-O-R-C-E”

Angry Breakup

Ben Folds Five: “Song for the Dumped”

Black Eyed Peas: “Shut Up”

Mary J Blige: “Not Gon’ Cry”

Ray Charles: “Hit the Road Jack”

Eminem: “Go to Sleep”

Marianne Faithfull: “Why’d Ya Do It?”

Fleetwood Mac: “You Can Go Your Own Way”

Alanis Morissette: “You Oughta Know”

Green Day: “Good Riddance”

Gloria Gaynor: “I Will Survive”

Lauryn Hill: “I Used to Love Him”

J Geils Band: “Love Stinks”

Janis Joplin: “Take Another Little Piece of My Heart”

Jazz Standard: “Cry Me a River”

Greg Kihn Band: “The Breakup Song”

Nilsson: “You’re Breaking My Heart”

The Rascals: “You Better Run”

Nancy Sinatra: “These Boots Are Made for Walking”

Richard and Linda Thompson: “Shoot Out the Lights”

阿凡提

Monday, January 8th, 2007

時候很喜歡阿凡提的故事。對一個小孩子來講﹐這類故事既短又有意思﹐可以一個接著一個地聽。當時聽過之後﹐笑一笑就要聽下一個。後來上海美術製片廠又製作了一個可愛的< 阿凡提的故事>木偶片至今印象深刻。怎麼又現在想起了阿凡提呢﹖這還要從最近看的書來說

這一個月寫日誌的興趣嚴重地被工作上的壓力所影響﹐人一直不能放松。放不開就是放不開﹐不管朋友或者同事給我語句上的安慰﹐還是很難從這當中抽出來。終於昨日事情有所了斷﹐就隨手從書架中抽了一本未看完的書(已經擱了好幾年了)。

書是一名印度人寫的﹐書名是< 蘇菲> Sufi 。這是一本關於蘇菲神秘教的書。以前看時就很喜歡裡面的很多道理。雖然大部份人認為這個神秘教是從伊斯蘭教延伸出來的﹐但是我相信作者﹐蘇菲的起源遠遠地超出了伊斯蘭教。因為他們所告訴的道理更抽象﹐(在那個層次)高過伊斯蘭教。那些蘇菲老師﹐只是利用伊斯蘭教作為一種環境來使蘇菲的教育能夠傳播下去。(當然這些對於我們非純學者來說﹐並不重要。就像是雞與蛋的爭論。)

翻到書簽處﹐是新的一章。講的是蘇菲老師Nasrudin 的故事。看著看著﹐在有所心得的同時﹐怎麼覺得這些故事很熟悉。突然又想起了阿凡提的故事。會不會是同一個人﹖(HH 經常說我有一個缺點﹐那就是喜歡牽強地把無關緊要的事情連接起來﹐然後再硬按一些“證據”來支持我的看法。看來這次我的老毛病又發作了。)

上網查阿凡提和蘇菲﹐沒有找到什麼證據。繼而查英文Nasrudin﹐發現這個人物的名字其實有很多很多的拼法。而且在 Nasrudin 的前面經常還有一個稱呼。在我的書中﹐這個稱呼是Mullah (學者的意思)。再看下去﹐就還有別的稱呼。Effendi是最後的一個﹗Effendi 是老師的意思。那就對了﹐我們從小就學到了蘇菲教的教育﹗而且還是在我們不知不覺的時候。阿凡提 是土耳其的一位蘇菲教的高僧﹐有點類似我們的濟公。

其實那些故事在翻譯的過程中﹐很多精華已經遺失了﹐剩下的只有笑話的部份了。重新用另外一種角度來看阿凡提﹐在我這個年齡﹐其實也是一件很有意思的事情。

effendi

P.S.

Wikipedia on Nasreddin name variation:

Nasreddin’s name is also commonly spelled Nasrudin, Nasr ud-Din, Nasredin, Naseeruddin, Nasruddin, Nasr Eddin, Nastradhin, Nasreddine, Nastratin, Nusrettin, Nasrettin and Nastradin (lit.: Victory of the Deen).

His name is usually preceded or followed by a title of wisdom used in the corresponding cultures: “Hoxha”, “Khwaje”, “Hodja”, “Hojja”, “Hodža”, “Hoca”, “Hogea”, “Hodza”, “Chotzas”, “Mullah”, “Mulla”, “Molla”, “Maulana”, “Efendi”, “”Ependi”. For these, see Hajji, Mullah and Effendi.


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